Wednesday, October 24, 2012

My grace is enough for you.

Jesus has called me out of a lot of darkness. Sometimes, more than I care to admit. He has taken me from someone who was afraid to speak, someone who was weighed down and burdened by lies. Lies that I was never going to be good enough. That I was never going to be beautiful enough. Never thin enough. Never religious enough. Never smart enough. Eloquent enough. Strong enough. Bold enough. That I could never do it. That I could not be loved. That I was going to be alone. That I was powerless. 
I sat in a cage chained with these lies. 

One night, in February, as we sat in our room after a long day of ministry in Meru, Kenya. A couple team members and I shared some words with the Lord with each other. What God spoke to me that night, was incredible. Three different people, without even communicating with one another, or even knowing these words were for me, wrote:

The Lord wants you to let go what is worrying you, don’t worry about it anymore.

Locked- You’re trapped in a cage, that you have the key to. You’re afraid of the freedom that will come by opening it because all you have known is the pain. Stop it. Face it. Unlock your cage and let it go.

And finally, 

His grace is enough, He has risen from the grave.

I sat that night stunned at how Jesus has spoken to me through three different people the same things. 

This was the beginning of me realizing that these things were keeping me from knowing Jesus deeper. I spent the rest of my trip finding my voice and realizing the power of the Spirit at work inside of me. 

I came home from Kenya and thought that upon hearing these words, I had been released me from the lies. But, I realized that they merely opened my eyes to seeing the chains and feeling the weight of them holding me back. That I had to release the lies. I had to let go and know that His grace was enough.

I spent a summer in my chains. I spent a summer listening and believing more lies. 
I spent a summer inside the safety my cage.

A dear friend declared freedom over me one day, and I had no idea what that looked like. A life without my chains, without my lies that had become my truths. 

I spent the next two months.
In tears.

Because, release is never easy.

I spent two months crying out to God.
Crying for the lies I had trapped myself in.
Crying because I felt alone.
Crying because I knew that stepping outside my cage would mean being uncomfortable, would mean change, would mean growth that would be scary.
Crying all the tears I had kept in for too long.

And you know what God told me in those two months?
In a nutshell He said, 

“REST IN MY LOVE.  Because I am with you. I have good and perfect plans for you. I haven’t forgotten about you. I only have MORE for you. And it’s only good. So, RISE UP. Rise up to meet me and I will use you, I will be with you, and you will be victorious. Because I have overcome the grave. I’m here, JM. And I’m not leaving you. You’re beautiful. You are loved. I have created you perfectly. When you feel weak child, I am strong. So, LET ME EMBRACE YOU. Rest in my love, it’s a perfect love and it never let’s go. You can be still here in my presence and listen to my voice. Listen to my truths about you. Let me speak them over you. Do you know, daughter, that you are no longer a little girl, you are a woman of God. You have a voice and you are bold! Do you know that what I say about you is enough? That you are beautiful and free and loved and victorious. Did you know you don’t have to be afraid anymore? Because you are coved in my perfect love that casts out fear. Did you know that you are outrageously loved? I love you. I love you. I love you. Do you know that I alone am enough for you?”

And slowly freedom came, lies were stomped down, chains were broken. I surrendered the lies and gave him my burdens and released the pain... and He poured out  His love to replace the void. He said, "Just live and rest in my love." He said, "LET ME LOVE YOU."

All this in Jesus name, because HE is enough for me. No longer am I chained by lies. I am a daughter of the King. And what He says about me is enough.
I am sitting atop my cage, surrounded by broken chains and I am praising and dancing. 
And I have been given power to speak freedom over others. Freedom in Christ. 
To “Stomp down Heaven”;  stomping down lies and chains + stomping in Kingdom and truth in worship.

And whenever these lies creep back in. Jesus just says, "I am enough for you."
He says, 

“That is not who you are anymore. YOU’RE NEW. You’re my new creation. I’ve called you out of that darkness into my marvelous light. Don’t hold back anymore, dance in my marvelous light. I have new things for you. New things for my beautiful, new creation. Walk in them, JM. You're mine. Don't you know that I have created you for more than hearing the empty words of man? You don't need to rely on merely human affirmation anymore.  Know that you are my beloved, 100%.  Live in my truths, dear daughter. That you have been redeemed. That you have new life. A new SPIRIT. That you, are a world changer. I hear your cries and I am jealous for you. What more are you looking for? What more do you need? I am here. Listen and be still. I'm right here. Rest here. But don't sit still. Stand up in my presence, under my mighty wing and bring my kingdom to earth. Not by your own power, but by the power I have given you. My grace is more than enough. More than enough. More than enough for you. Don't dwell in empty things anymore. Dwell in me. Dwell in my hope, my life, and my light. Dwell on MY truths about you. That you are beautiful, abundantly loved, and perfectly made. That you have new purpose and great calling. That you, are mine.”  


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